Recent social media posts
17/08/2026
Oh look at me - I’m a modern Melbourne restaurant and we cook with nothing but flame and fists. Look at me. Oh no it’s not a gimmick. We’re connecting with our ancestral longing for the flame. Smoke. Flame. The sound of predators kept at bay by the sizzle and crack of fire. Would electricity keep away wolves? Would gas keep alphas sedated? No why do you keep asking if I listen to Joe Rogan podcasts. Just because I’m obsessed with the idea of some mythologised past of masculinity and ash smeared MEN lifting… straining… sweating… glistening… and bonding under the non judging gaze of far away stars… that’s why I’m also against refrigeration. It’s a barrier between our primal needs and modern lives. Just raw, unrefrigerated, did I say RAW already? RAW needs.
Flame kissed sausage skewers with confit cherry tomatoes, basil and caramelised shallot.
16/08/2026
Like an addict swearing that this time will be the last little taste before getting their s**t together, I just cant stop doing roasts. I know it physically and emotionally breaks me but I can't stop thinking about all those sweet sweet customers lightly trampling each other to secure a booking for what has been three spectacularly booked out events.
Plus it's Father's Day that Sunday and i'd be a fool not to exploit the kind of people who need a calendar reminder to be nice to others as those people deserve to be punished because if you require that then perhaps you're not a nice person. There. Let's just get that out of the way now.
Personally i believe that everyday should be an opportunity to make someone feel special. An oversized block of chocolate that you see on special and know your partner would love? Buy it. What's the occasion? I was just thinking of you. That laser disc you had commissioned of you singing Duran Duran's greatest song "the chauffeur" at karaoke that you gave out as a thank you present to the staff in recognition of all the hard work they've put in this year? Priceless. See. Every day is a day you should make someone in your life feel significant. Outsourcing all emotional labour to beleaguered hospo staff is certainly not the way to do it. We resent it. You resent us. Let's stop the cycle.
But your money's good and I believe in corrective punishment through over charging and set menu hostage taking (lets give it up for Valentines day) so let's just open anyway as I'm fund raising for taking some time off in January and need cash so that my child's xmas present is more than whatever merch i can bully a beer rep into giving me.
Happy Christmas my boy, heres a rubber drip mat and a beanie that says "wish you were beer"!
Book now
15/08/2026
My phone is perpetually turned to silent and DND for a variety of reasons. As fun as it is to receive endless calls asking me if I'm happy with a lack of LED lighting, worried about free solar, or need to resolve an urgent tax debt that can only be resolved through JB HIFI gift cards I sometimes prioritise cooking the fine food that outsells drinks by an alarming proportion.
So if you want to make a booking that exceeds the limits of our online booking system or to communicate with us about your distaste for mushrooms, please text. It's easy. You have a written record that you can show to prove that I wrote down your information wrong and I have a number I can send passive aggressive threats to when you don't turn up.
Because have you seen how some of you people try and make bookings? It's like dragging an answer out of an ent. Just a name for the booking please.
Name? Hmmm Yes, that was it. But name? it is a hasty word for a thing that has stood here ever since this part of the world was shaped, when I was born under the shadow of the great moon but things will go as they will, and there is no need to hurry to meet them.
Yeah well that might be all right for you mate but I'm watching several purées burn as you somehow bring dinosaurs into a film about growing up in the 1950's like a Terence Malick "masterpiece". Can we just get to the ducking point so I can put the phone down and jot down something like Brian 7 @ 7:30. Look it's only 4 words why am I still trapped listening to you get to the point?
My name is growing all the time, and I've lived a very long long time, so my name is like a story.
Listen up you Tom Bombadil mo********er please just tell me your name...
14/08/2026
Like an aging and arrogant cricket team being put to the sword by an underestimated and belittled touring team this dish has surprise depths and deep belief beyond the overhyped mediocrity of what happens when you believe your own propaganda just because you beat up day drunk english tourists for the umpteenth time in a row.
Much like that, this dish is a reckoning, a reckoning i say of what happens with hubris before the fall and the conceit that you cannot be satisfied by the mouthfeel of a lentil and fennel sausage served with a new potato fricassee and a saffron rouile that will run rampant through your tastebuds like a triumphant Matt Henry finally putting to rest that idea that australia is the death of empire for touring nations and that New Zealand is nothing but a nation of slightly overweight trundlers who need a green lawn to achieve anything because we would rather succeed through weakness than dominate thru strength.
Which will all be decided in a few months time. But buy food. And laugh and laugh and laugh.
14/08/2026
Like a Mairangi bay cafe still proudly displaying that they were anointed Metro magazine's best in the years 2004-2006, we will happily rest on our laurels and dine out on past glories. The past is a golden place.
13/08/2026
Vadouvan glazed beetroot tarte tatine with soft herbs and black garlic & walnut cream. Subtly spiced. Refreshing moist. Glisteningly not available
12/08/2026
Someone's found some effects on his phone and is having a blast making everything look like AI so some paranoiac can treat it all as the final straw and frothingly accuse everyone and everything of being AI slop.
Nothing is real. All information is control.
Have fun out there.
Here i am committing otto-lingus (we also accept cunni-lenghi) on the humble carrot by giving it the attention it deserves as it's entitled to be celebrated for once.
Salt baked. Peeled. Smoked and charred and then when all warm and slightly trembly it gets blasted with a pickled walnut and preserved lemon dressing before lying in a puddle of cannellini cream. Sticky and sweet. Charred and flavoursome. Come inside these sugar walls.
11/08/2026
Starting to see a small window of validation for what we the oppressed hospitality minority must endure every day as we are beset by more tales of how inspiration's journey startedat nonna's knee or how a particularly inspired fi*****ng in a Tuscan lavender grove led you to don an apron and just learn to love entertaining.
I actively hate people but find endless joy in creativity, flow state and setting myself on fire because there is no time to find a second tea towel and action demands impatience.
I fell into this industry because i don't sleep,
didn't fit in anywhere else and hate the self lie of conformity to normal life.
Wheres the goddamn documentary about my journey?
Oh theres that one about an eccentric headband wearing visionary famous for his strict rules, massive menu, and uncompromising personality that operated on a "customer is not always right" philosophy, making him a legendary New York culinary character.
Tell me more about this god amongst men...
10/08/2026
Little cheese and potato stuffed dumplings with white wine braised sauerkraut, cavolo nero and mustard cream. Winter warmer. Winter warmer. Winter warmer.
10/08/2026
I want problem solving skills built from finding somewhere to store 120kg of carrots, not from a management retreat.
I want character built from pretending the carrot special was planned all along, not from self-help books.
I want inner peace built from accepting that every staff meal & special will contain carrots for the next three weeks, not from a mindfulness seminar
We are not the same.
Address
915 High Street Thornbury
Melbourne, VIC
3071
For those taking public transportation, take the train/bus to Thornbury station and walk down High Street. The restaurant will be on your left.
For those driving, take High Street towards Thornbury. There is street parking available along High Street and surrounding streets.
Opening Hours
| Wednesday |
6pm - 10pm |
| Thursday |
6pm - 10pm |
| Friday |
6pm - 10pm |
| Saturday |
6pm - 10pm |
| Sunday |
6pm - 10pm |
Alerts
Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Ballard's 915 high st thornbury posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.
What people say
Ballard's 915 high st thornbury is a must-visit for all vegetarian and vegan food lovers. This all-vegan food and wine bar offers a homely and delicate menu that is sure to satisfy your taste buds. The casual tunes and quality drinks add to the overall ambiance of the restaurant, making it a perfect spot for a night out with friends or family.
The restaurant's location on High Street Thornbury makes it easily accessible for everyone. The menu boasts an array of delicious vegan dishes that are sure to impress even non-vegans. From starters to desserts, every dish is prepared with utmost care and attention to detail.
Although their $14 parma night offer may be coming to an end soon, there are still plenty of reasons to visit Ballard's 915 high st thornbury. Their commitment to providing high-quality vegan food in a cozy atmosphere is truly commendable.
So, whether you're a vegan or simply looking for some delicious plant-based options, Ballard's 915 high st thornbury should definitely be on your list of go-to restaurants in Melbourne. Book now and experience the magic of this amazing vegan food and wine bar!
